whatever, fuck this shit. I’m
tired of thinking and worrying and having doubts and feeling like on a rollercoaster and worrying about you and then realizing there was no reason I needed to be worried but then it dawns on me that I do worry because I care much about you, I like you a lot and then I get frustrated with myself because you know that this is the case and you told me your intention isn’t to hurt me but it’s so hard to believe so, to trust and at the same time I miss you so incredibly much, it’s very near to the point of being pathetic, which makes me feel like a shallow and crazy 14 year old that doesn’t even know what love is and confuses it with obsession, even though I know I am not obsessed with you, it’s more that I can be so much myself with you and that feels good and that makes me feel good about myself because I then know that maybe I am worth someone’s affection and care, but I remind myself that I have to feel this not because of someone and then I try to think ‘oh, well, it’s not like I hate myself …’ and it’s true, I know it’s true but when you’re around I can give all my love I have inside me to someone, I can actually use my emotional character and make use of those intense feelings I have, I can share them. And, the whole point of rambling about is, that I miss you and that I want to fall asleep next to you and ask you about your day and listen to you and make love to you, but you’re not here, and I don’t even know where I stand with you and that brings me back to my worries and self-doubts and it’s all just too much right now. I just want to sleep. I just need some sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day. All I need is some peaceful sleep. That’s all.
i don’t know you but i understand this…it freaks me out how much i understand this.
reblogged from nickythinkstoomuch
